Compos Mentis

S.S. Relation

I was going to do a post on a couple of thoughts I had, but right now I'm really quite tired, so I don't think I'm going to do anything that mentally straining. I think I'm just going to reflect on some things I notice when I'm around my new friends here at Gonzaga.
I'm not sure if any of you caught the passage in my post/letter to my proffesor when I said something about studying other people when they talk. Well, I don't know if anyone else does it other than me, but it is an interesting psychological study to see people going through their social acts. I've found that body language tells a lot more than words can. If they put their minds to it (though they often don't) People can often control the words they speak, but they can't control their physical reactions. Hand gestures are less revealing than pose, usually, and it usually doesn't take that much training to figure out what people are saying with their poses. What is a lot harder is applying it to the person you are talking to, because it is mostly an unconscious act. It's too bad, too, because a lot of interpersonal problems could be alleviated if we understood other people's body language: I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of the difficulties in understanding the opposite gender is the fact that we are speaking two (or more) different languages when we are using the same words to each other.
Human interaction is very fascinating. I think one of the reasons we put so much effort in trying to understand the social behavior of other species is that we spend so much effort in our own interpersonal interactions. Parties are wonderful places to see this in action. Try sometime to study the groups people get into at parties, and then how the groups shift and form. When I do this, I start to notice patterns like the size of groups. Lets say the average sized group is six people, which is usually about right, depending on the party. Such groups end in one of two ways. Either they run out of things to say and wander elsewhere, or they get joined by more people and the group breaks down into smaller groups. Groups smaller than six usually are more likely to get joined than big groups. On the other hand, if two people deliberately separate themselves from the rest of the party, they have different characteristics. If it's two guys, they generally stand shoulder to shoulder, looking at some common thing and, generally, commenting on it. Pairs of girls stand face to face. If it is a mixed pair, they usually also stand face to face, but there is usually more active body language. Check it out at some gathering and see if your results match mine.
One last thing regarding more long term relationships. Starting college gave me a unique opportunity to see what happens to a group of people starting a new life together in an unknown, hostile (meaning new and unusual) environment. I mentioned in my very first post how Gonzaga found a way to unite all of the froshes very quickly. Now, though, past midterms, college is no longer quite as hostile. We have settled into our routines, we know how to do all the things that we generally need to do. As this happens, the 'grace period' of grand acceptance disappears. There were signs before: after the first two weeks no one was going around introducing themselves to all the new people at every opportunity they could find. But now, while people have become comfortable in their scheduling routines, they will find themselves at corners with their new friends. They are settling back in to their usual personalities and temperaments, which might be quite different from what they displayed in order to fit in. As this occurs, bumps in the relationships come up. This is when the first real arguments will occur among friends, and when the breaking and cementing of various cliques will be shown. While this period seems treacherous, it is necessary to ensure that these relationships are with someone real, rather than an image put up in order to fit in.
I want to know if these things are happening where you guys are. I bet that larger schools will have different timetables for acceptance and settling in to routines. Or it might not happen the same way at all. And don't worry: I don't analyze you guys the way I analyze people here. Take what comfort you may from that.

posted by Emmett @ 23:53